Trust is a neurobiological phenomenon that helps us regulate our stress. When we are experiencing trust, then we will be better able to regulate our nervous system and retain access to the upper neural pathways in our brain. Those upper pathways are what we need to utilize to think flexibly, systemically, and creatively about how to reverse the climate crisis.

I was five years old, playing with my cousin Jenny. We hatched a plan to say aloud every swear word we knew. We sat crosslegged on her bedroom floor. In a whisper, Jenny launched into her list of words. She had an impressive list. When she paused, I boldly inserted the only word I knew: “Damn.” Jenny added more words; meanwhile shame-heat rushed to my face and I thought, “God heard me and now I won’t go to heaven.”

One afternoon when my daughter was eleven, we were running errands and talking. She mentioned a recent fight she’d had with a family member, and I shared a story of a time I’d reconnected with someone after a conflict. Then I said something that—until it came out of my mouth—I didn’t know I thought: “That’s what it means to trust someone: you know conflict won’t destroy the relationship.”